


Of Kisses and Stupid Reasoning

by rischaa



Series: OiKage Fics [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Hate to Love, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mutual Pining, is this angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 15:52:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7228858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rischaa/pseuds/rischaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been six months since he’s been hooking up with him. Every next morning of the night before, he contemplates whether he should leave or not. Tobio is scared of the consequences that will happen if he stays any longer in the apartment that reeked of his lover. He’s afraid that the admiration for the person has long gone before this had started; afraid that it has turned to something else. </p><p>a.k.a the fic where OiKage is twenty plus and they fall in love over the duration of six months as they hook up and things get complicated and emotional</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Kisses and Stupid Reasoning

**Author's Note:**

> writing oikage instead of sleeping is totally a good idea. totally. i think i teared up once as i wrote this. unbeta'd  
> -  
> for _**'Far Horizons'**_ because you supported both of my fics and you're awesome whoever you are. tnx for commenting on my fics.  
>  -  
> also, i feel like i've sinned once again

It’s been six months since he’s been hooking up with him. Every next morning of the night before, he contemplates whether he should leave or not. Tobio is scared of the consequences that will happen if he stays any longer in the apartment that reeked of his lover. He’s afraid that the admiration for the person has long gone before this had started; afraid that it has turned to something else.

So he leaves; he grabs his clothes sprawled out on the floor and puts them on quickly before he leaves. He hesitates in his place before leaving the room as he gazes at the angelic look his lover wore as of that moment. Tobio wonders how long he could fight this urge to not possibly fall in love with a man like him.

Tobio manages to leave the room without having to break down. He’s sure that his fears are getting to him and he knows that he’s so screwed; and that’s because he knows for fact he’s falling in love.

* * *

_Tobio let out moans, groans, and he tried his best to muffle all of these sounds. It was impossible to do so when the male continued thrusting into him quite deeply with no mercy. He bit his lips until it almost bled, his hands grabbed the white messed up sheets, and he scrunched his eyes close._

_Tobio can hear his name resonate within the room as the male screams it out so beautifully. The syllables being rolled out of the male’s tongue so beautifully. It made him shiver every time his lover’s fingertips touch his skin inch by inch; oh, so very seductively._

_Teases were made and he hated it because he just wanted **him**_ **.** _Biting and kiss marks were scattered around his body and so were they on his lover’s. It’s beautiful, the fusion of slightly bruised purple and red, so fresh._

_Tobio panted, his lover screamed in ecstasy, their bodies covered in sweat, they knew this was just for the other’s terrible coping mechanism, not anything else. He wants to cry, but he bottles it in, trying to grasp the only moment he had before he let go._

_His back arched in pleasure as he reached the peak of his orgasm, letting out a moan that enveloped around his lover’s name. His body tingled with chills, trembling from the fatigue at how many times they’ve done it this night, and he’s- crying._

_He fluttered his eyes open to see his lover closing in to occupy his lips once again. He likes this kiss, it’s not rushed like all the others. His eyes opened, his eyelids grew heavy, and he heard the brunette say, “I lo… Tobio-chan. I hate you.”_

_Tobio closed his eyes, snuggling close to the brunette’s body emanating warmth, his mind replying, “I know you hate me.”_

* * *

He looks at his phone hoping to see a call from the man he may have grown attached for. Tobio aggressively shook his head.

_(No! You hate him, okay! Idiot! You’re nothing but one of those flings.)_

He sulks and breathes into the winter night. The elderly couple watch him leave the store, scared; he’s sure that he has that scary face on once again. Tobio doesn’t care anymore. He’s grown used it for the past six years ever since high school.

Tobio walks back home, his backpack slung improperly on his back, he’s looking down, burying his face in his navy blue muffler wrapped around his neck. It’s a quiet night, so morosely dark, light only coming from the few light posts on the street. It feels so mysterious at this time of the night, only past 9 pm, he’s sure most of the people have hit the sack, but some are out and about wandering to kill time.

Without knowing, he passes by Seijoh and the lights are off, he doesn’t really expect much except for the nostalgic vibe it gives him, making him want to clench his heart so hard it bleeds.

He feels a pair of eyes on his back, so he looks and sees a dark silhouette standing by a tree, staying stagnant. Tobio walks closer to the stranger hiding his face and he doesn’t feel a bit scared. He’s supposed to _be,_ but somehow, his heart seems to be beating normally just fine.

The stranger started moving and it felt like an entire millennium before they reached other. The pace was so agonizingly so slow, yet Tobio refused to complain; after all he was in no hurry.

He is met with a pale face of dark bags and raw red eyes. It looks so pathetic but he feels his heart start to pity for the male in front of him. He stops his heart from doing so by cursing in his head that this was the man he wanted to hate so much; Oikawa Tooru.

“You look like you died and was brought back to life,” he tells him.

“I’m doing just fine, thank you, Tobio-chan,” Oikawa responds sarcastically.

It sounds like he was a broken record player, forever going on saying the same thing. It sounds so pathetically perfect for the male. Tobio finds his chest get numb the longer he stares into the pools of brown reflected by calculating blue ones. He wants to end this conversation as soon as possible, but his mouth had gotten ahead of him.

“Pork bun?”

“I’d rather have my milk bread, thank you,” Oikawa snaps at him.

The breeze is ice cold which Tobio openly states and Oikawa doesn’t reply to it, only turning his head away. Tobio notices that the man is wearing nothing but a thin sweater and volleyball pants which look like they were from his high school days.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“No. As if-” Oikawa coughs and he covers his mouth, “What are you even doing here? Come to see me, I suppose?” Tobio sees Oikawa slightly smirk and it doesn’t really pair well with his well shown exhaustion.

Tobio opens his mouth then closes it. He unwraps his muffler and throws it to Oikawa’s face. Oikawa screams something frustrated, but Tobio only hears smothered words into the muffler.

He breaks for a run, leaving the brunette there.

* * *

Oikawa is troubled and he hates it. He’s falling in love and he’s getting scared. He doesn’t like how this is going. Every morning he finds himself alone in bed covered within the sheets of the bed dirtied the previous night. It was supposed to be a one-time thing and he was drunk that night, but this is where he had ended up instead.

He feels cold every morning, warmth lost from the tips of his fingers, totally gone from last night. He’s used to feeling cold every time, but this time it’s different and he’s sure of it. The beating of his heart, the first thing that comes to his mind, the screaming of the name at night. Oikawa is sure he’s falling in love and he doesn’t want to.

Oikawa is so done with the damn emotion, in fact, he’s scared of it. People say it is all sunshine and rainbows but all he sees is pain and agony. It’s tiring to see people around him say they’re in love and it only lasts for a few months, so he does one-night stands. It sounds sick to others but Oikawa feels like it’s a great plan. No falling in love, no heartaches, no pining, and no crying.

It was a perfect situation for him, but he _just_ had to have a one night stand with the genius setter out of all people.

He won’t even complain; his former kouhai has grown physically wonderful. His build was fit, his hair was a little longer than before giving him a mature look, his eyes had a look that gave a vibe similar to ‘calm before the storm’. He has the hands of a setter, lips of a lover stained with lies, eyes with so much pain, and his mind- Oikawa often wondered what goes on that mind of his.

Was it still narrow minded as it was before? Who did he think of? Is he in a relationship? Was he still stupid and snarky? Was he still crazily focused on volleyball?

So many questions swam around his mind at night. So many of them linked to the twenty one year old male. His head was no longer filled with the aches of his last relationship where the girl had dumped her for who he truly was. It usually made his heart tremble in hurt, but now his heart laughed, scared of what could happen soon.

* * *

_Oikawa kissed him mercilessly and undressed him quickly, complaining about the abundance of buttons on the shirt. As they stumbled their way to his bedroom, Oikawa trailed marks to be visible when sun hits its shift. His hair was being messed up by the calloused hands of Tobio, not giving any care._

_He pinned down the raven haired man on the bed and he sees his eyes glow brightly. His hands pinned down, Oikawa left wet kisses on his chest to which he heard Tobio trying to not moan to._

_He teases him, slowly touching his sensitive spots seductively; he loves seeing him try to conceal his moans. His face is beautiful. It looks so wrecked and broken; and that's the meaning of beautiful for Oikawa._

_Oikawa’s back is decorated with nail marks and he likes the pain of the nails being dug into his skin. He wrecks the younger male under him and it’ s all worth it when he finally hears him scream his name. It’s so angelic- the way his first name rolls of his beloved tongue, but he hears the held back sob behind the name. He’s crying._

_Tobio’s eyes fluttered open and he kissed his resplendent lips; it was heavenly. This kiss is perfect and he knows it. He’s so fucked._

_“I love you so much, Tobio-chan. I hate you.”_

_His voice had just lied like the liar he was. He’s fooled himself once again._

* * *

It smells exactly just like him, the muffler that is. It’s navy blue, just like his pretty blue eyes, he mentally notes. The color of the sky is the same as the clothing and it seems like Tobio has taken upon himself to take over him just like the sky.

When they meet again, it’s silent and tense and it’s at Oikawa’s apartment.

“Oikawa-san, can I ask a question?”

“You already did, but go ahead,” he tells him.

“Can we end this? Whatever we’ve been doing for the past few months, I mean?”

He watched his mouth move in motion, syllables overlapping with each other, it’s not hesitated over, not even a hint of a slur.

_Oh, how you hurt me, Tobio-chan. My heart wants to cry._

There’s a heavy and anxious silence hanging around by the atmosphere, Oikawa hates it; it makes him want to run like he always does. Run away from this feeling that’s nagging in his heart. He’s so tired of running away, but it’s the only thing he can do.

“Sure,” it’s nonchalant; it’s like needles on his tongue, fire surging through his body, it hurts and that’s that.

Oikawa watches him almost leave and without meaning to, he says out loudly, “You’re just like all the others.”

Tobio’s attention is on him. He grits his teeth.

“Everyone is always leaving me. So go ahead, leave me. Leave me like all of them did. Leave me! Once they get to know me, they leave!”

Tobio’s usual calm and collected face is gone and it’s turned to an angered one, so full of rage and hurt. He grabs Oikawa by his shirt aggressively, he was seething with unexpressed affliction, he can tell; he looks troubled and he lets go of him.

“Then! Then tell me- why have **you** been playing with my feelings?!”

“You’re the one playing with **my** feelings! I’m supposed to hate you, but I had to fall in love with you!” he retorts back at Tobio.

Oikawa then decides to kiss him in panic.

* * *

Tobio pulls away, then punches him across the cheek and instantly he is hit with a pang of regret. Oikawa doesn’t look mad at all, he looks more like he’s scared to death and he’s panicking.

He leaves straight for the door. He’s so tired of this; being played around, his feelings weren’t meant to be toyed with. They were emotions to be used and taken care of. They’ve hooked up so many times and he’s so damn exhausted of it. He wants to be loved, not used for pleasure. That doesn’t explain why he feel so safe in Oikawa’s arms after it though. It doesn’t explain why he’s so troubled at nights, why he can’t sleep, why he searches for him in his dreams, why he feels sad the moment he leaves his apartment, or why his heart beats faster when he’s around him.

It _just_ fucking doesn’t.

He’s being held back by a tight clutch from the back. It feels warm and fuzzy.

“Enough,” he repeats again and again, like a mantra as he strangles away from the clutch, but he can’t. He’s crying, his eyes are turning red and they hurt from so much of crying.

“No, I can’t. I just can’t. I ca-” Oikawa’s words turning to a choked sob, the embrace loosens.

Tobio turns around; he’s tired running away, he’s tired of being used, and most of all he’s tired of being so stupidly in love with the man in front of him.

He feels lips on his own. They are soft and partially chapped on the sides. It’s a simple peck, yes, it’s so simple but this is the worst kiss he’s ever had. It’s the worst, definitely. It’s so overwhelmed by emotions. Kisses like these are the worst, not those that are rough, but those that are desperate. It’s when he’s tired of running and his eyes are turning a raw red. Those that when he tries to run, he’s held back and he tries to break free.

Then, he's met with that simple peck turning into a series of kisses, tongues slipped in and battling for who should be the winner of this pointless argument. To determine that words aren’t enough for them, that psychical pleasure isn’t enough, but kisses like these are.

Tobio pulls off breathless with a smile even though being pinned on the wall. Oikawa

“You lose, Tobio-chan~” He has this smile that he has and it’s so pretty.

“Not everything is like volleyball, Tooru.”

“I fell in love with a volleyball dork. You are so adorably stupid. I hate you so much,” Tooru points out.

“Love you too," he kisses him one more time.

**Author's Note:**

> I'VE SINNED I WROTE SMUT NOT RLY OH SHIZ  
> -  
> sorry, thanks for reading, and um check me out on my [tumblr](https://chrischaa.tumblr.com) and i dunno- hmu w/ some questions bout anything


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